Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
