chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
