I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
