just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
