When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
