Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
