ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
