I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize