I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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