Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
