True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
