Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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