Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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