the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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