you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
