garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
