Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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