hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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