And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
