You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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