On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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