Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
