I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
