I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
