no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
