I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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