when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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