he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
