so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
