legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
