thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
