if i can run in heels then i can drive
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
