I bet he comes in French.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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