even my farts smell like vagina
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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