4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
