Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
