I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
