five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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