3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
How naked do you want me to be?
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