Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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