oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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