That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
