I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Randomize
