How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize