You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize