I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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