Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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