I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
