Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
