Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
