I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
