so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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