Whod you bang
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
They took my balls.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
