I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
