but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize