the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
