spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
